Growing Pains

The first three years after mom passed away, my family was so close. I mean, we all just worked. So cohesive and functional. It felt great, to be on the same page. We lived close to each other, saw each other a lot, it felt necessary to be close. Like, if we weren’t, we would lose each other too. Clinging so close to one another.

My sister and I talked to each other a lot. We talked to our mom so much before she died. She worked at the Cleveland Clinic as a Project Manager dealing with drug trials. She had normal 9-5 and could take time to talk to us regularly. We called her on her lunch breaks, to chat. We’d talk about random things. I mean anything. She knew how to talk to us about dating, relationships, interviews, jobs, etc. She was so well versed in everything. She had “worldly” experience. Technically she traveled all over the world for her position. She gave speeches, ran meetings, told people what to do. The most intelligent woman. She always brought home gifts, rings from Ireland and Spain that my sister and I still wear.

My sister and I talk everyday. She’s my best friend. She is so important to me. Growing up together, we shared a room. Until I left for collage. She and I are so used to the presence of one another that, even now, being adults in different states with bills and shit, we will sometimes be on the phone for hours and not even talk. Sometimes forgetting we’re even on the phone with each other. But it’s that presence that makes me feel normal. Like everything’s the way it was. I wish she lived near me or with me. We don’t really like to do things and I wish we could not do anything, together, like all the time.

She’s in Seattle now. Getting her masters. Her and our mom are so much alike. She just has that drive. That internalized push comes so natural to her. She’s strong. She puts so much on her plate, but knows she can do it. I’m so proud of her. I love having her as my best friend. She’s the person who gets me. We have the same humor, the same way of speaking to each other. It’s like we share a brain. Being close to my sister never stopped. My brothers’ and my relationship got better too. The older he got, the more we got along. We didn’t much when we were younger. The rocky relationship of the oldest and the youngest is a tale of all time. All the buttons pushed. We didn’t like each other. Well, I didn’t like him much. I can’t really speak for him. I think he just liked to pick on me. My sister and I talked recently and she said that I was the easiest one to pick on in the family.

Mom passing was really hard on him. It was during his first semester of college. It wasn’t easy. He hadn’t gotten enough time with her. He needed more, we all did. You’d never guess, but he got a fine arts degree. And played tennis all throughout college. He’s even coaching now as a tennis pro at a club. He’s come so far. So so far. He’s a great kid. I’ll take all the time I can get hanging out with him. Sometimes he calls me when he’s on his way home from work to talk. I love it. I love hearing from him. Even if they’re only 10 minute phone calls. He updates me on dating, new artwork for his apartment, and more. I feel like I’m still getting to know him, but I’ll take it. We’re almost 5 years apart and we lost our mom at completely different points in our lives. It’s hard to bond, but it’s happening!!

My sister and brother are so important to me. Im happy with where we are now. And I’m proud to be going on their journeys to watch them grow.